A few days ago I heard a news that stunned me, the father of my friend just got an accident and now in a coma.. So when I have the chance to met him, of course I asked about the condition of his father.. Firstly he showed me the picture of his car that totally smashed and told me excitingly the story how the car can get smashed.. I didn’t remember the detail but it seems his car is in the middle of a container and a bus or something like that and the drivers runaway and he wants to report it to the police..
When another friend of mine came, he asked him about the accidents and he said the exact story with the same level of excitement and of course showed the picture.. And that’s happened probably twice so I heard it three times.. It seems strange to me that he didn’t seems sad or worried about his father at all.. The only times he said about the condition of his father is that he’s in coma and that’s it.. So I asked the question if he is worried or not about the condition of his father.. This is his answer: “Ren, there is a lot of problem in this world, lets not adding more problem to think about..”
When I heard that, I’m totally shocked.. I can’t imagine there is a person that can feel that way about his father.. I don’t know what’s happened within his family, so maybe I can’t judge him, but a thought that he thinks his father, when he is in a coma when he need support from his family the most, as a problem just stunned me.. If I didn’t heard it myself I probably wont believe it.. Not that it didn’t exist in the world, I know it does, but I never thought that my friend who I know quite well, can have those kind of feeling about his own father..
I remember a conversation with my French teacher a few months ago about parents and children (I forgot the details but this is the main story).. She said to me and the class that there is only one reason why a child can live and that is because our parents want us to live.. She shared her experience when she became a mother herself.. When she’s pregnant, its like a torture, she has to quit smoking and during the 7 until 9 months pregnancy she felt pain in her back and there is nothing she can do to ease the pain because if she use medicine or balsam, it can hurt the baby and eventually will cause the baby to be born abnormal.. When the moment is ready, it’s a matter of life and death to delivered the baby.. Even after the baby is born, its still took a lot of effort to raise the baby.. Like when the baby cry in 2 A.M, she has to wake up to checked the baby even if she didn’t like doing it, and when she’s ill and the baby also ill yet she had put the baby as her first priority.. Many times she has to force herself to do things that she may not like to makes sure the baby is fine.. She asked us: “Can you imagine what if the mother is a bit lazy, choose not to wake up in 2 A.M and let the baby cry or when she pregnant and felt pain in her back and choose to use medicine to ease her pain and risking the healthy of her baby or when she ill and choose not to take care the baby? So its reality that we can live today because our parents want us to live.”
I always remembered that conversation because it changed my point of view to my parents.. I imagine how vulnerable I am when I’m a baby and how easy it is I became abnormal if my parents choose to neglected me.. I turn out to be ok so my parents must have did a great job to make sure I’m alive.. Another reason why I always remember what she said is because a few days after that the I heard what my father said to his friend (read my last blog), and it really touched me how my parents must have love me.. That conversation makes me realize that every child owes their life to their parents.. I always know that but when my teacher said that, its the first time that I really understand the meaning of it..
I guess from this blog you can say that I didn’t agree with what my friend felt towards his father.. You can say that I probably being too judging, remembering that I didn’t know the condition of his family.. But every family has its own problem rite? Me too, I only said this to couple of my best friends but when I was a kid my father kicked me out from the house.. He even took me to a street and abandoned me there.. Then there is two persons who saw that, chase my father and somehow able to talk to my father so he take me back (I always felt indebted for those two persons that I never know).. Anyway from that moment my relationship with my father is damaged because I know he can always kicked me out again so I’m not really get along with him, unlike my sisters, until maybe recently when I’m in Jakarta.. but still when I know my father is in accidents I worried so much (he’s a reckless driver so there is a number of accidents).. what I want to say from my story is that every family has its own problem but it didn’t change the fact that they still our parents and we owed our life to them..
While writing this blog, I’m thinking what have I done to repay my parents for what they’ve done and the answered that came out is none.. Its such a shame knowing that I haven’t been able to repay them although I know everything that I’ve done to them wont be able to match what they’ve done to me.. Surprisingly I never said I love them directly, not even to my mother.. I guess I have to much pride and its difficult for a me and most of the man I guess, to say those things that people might consider corny.. I remember in Oprah, I heard a man said this: “if you can have 1 more day with the person you love but already died, what are you going to say to that person.. Every persons that I ask said they will ask for forgiveness and then said that they love them..” .. I hope I have the courage to said it and the time to said it.
When another friend of mine came, he asked him about the accidents and he said the exact story with the same level of excitement and of course showed the picture.. And that’s happened probably twice so I heard it three times.. It seems strange to me that he didn’t seems sad or worried about his father at all.. The only times he said about the condition of his father is that he’s in coma and that’s it.. So I asked the question if he is worried or not about the condition of his father.. This is his answer: “Ren, there is a lot of problem in this world, lets not adding more problem to think about..”
When I heard that, I’m totally shocked.. I can’t imagine there is a person that can feel that way about his father.. I don’t know what’s happened within his family, so maybe I can’t judge him, but a thought that he thinks his father, when he is in a coma when he need support from his family the most, as a problem just stunned me.. If I didn’t heard it myself I probably wont believe it.. Not that it didn’t exist in the world, I know it does, but I never thought that my friend who I know quite well, can have those kind of feeling about his own father..
I remember a conversation with my French teacher a few months ago about parents and children (I forgot the details but this is the main story).. She said to me and the class that there is only one reason why a child can live and that is because our parents want us to live.. She shared her experience when she became a mother herself.. When she’s pregnant, its like a torture, she has to quit smoking and during the 7 until 9 months pregnancy she felt pain in her back and there is nothing she can do to ease the pain because if she use medicine or balsam, it can hurt the baby and eventually will cause the baby to be born abnormal.. When the moment is ready, it’s a matter of life and death to delivered the baby.. Even after the baby is born, its still took a lot of effort to raise the baby.. Like when the baby cry in 2 A.M, she has to wake up to checked the baby even if she didn’t like doing it, and when she’s ill and the baby also ill yet she had put the baby as her first priority.. Many times she has to force herself to do things that she may not like to makes sure the baby is fine.. She asked us: “Can you imagine what if the mother is a bit lazy, choose not to wake up in 2 A.M and let the baby cry or when she pregnant and felt pain in her back and choose to use medicine to ease her pain and risking the healthy of her baby or when she ill and choose not to take care the baby? So its reality that we can live today because our parents want us to live.”
I always remembered that conversation because it changed my point of view to my parents.. I imagine how vulnerable I am when I’m a baby and how easy it is I became abnormal if my parents choose to neglected me.. I turn out to be ok so my parents must have did a great job to make sure I’m alive.. Another reason why I always remember what she said is because a few days after that the I heard what my father said to his friend (read my last blog), and it really touched me how my parents must have love me.. That conversation makes me realize that every child owes their life to their parents.. I always know that but when my teacher said that, its the first time that I really understand the meaning of it..
I guess from this blog you can say that I didn’t agree with what my friend felt towards his father.. You can say that I probably being too judging, remembering that I didn’t know the condition of his family.. But every family has its own problem rite? Me too, I only said this to couple of my best friends but when I was a kid my father kicked me out from the house.. He even took me to a street and abandoned me there.. Then there is two persons who saw that, chase my father and somehow able to talk to my father so he take me back (I always felt indebted for those two persons that I never know).. Anyway from that moment my relationship with my father is damaged because I know he can always kicked me out again so I’m not really get along with him, unlike my sisters, until maybe recently when I’m in Jakarta.. but still when I know my father is in accidents I worried so much (he’s a reckless driver so there is a number of accidents).. what I want to say from my story is that every family has its own problem but it didn’t change the fact that they still our parents and we owed our life to them..
While writing this blog, I’m thinking what have I done to repay my parents for what they’ve done and the answered that came out is none.. Its such a shame knowing that I haven’t been able to repay them although I know everything that I’ve done to them wont be able to match what they’ve done to me.. Surprisingly I never said I love them directly, not even to my mother.. I guess I have to much pride and its difficult for a me and most of the man I guess, to say those things that people might consider corny.. I remember in Oprah, I heard a man said this: “if you can have 1 more day with the person you love but already died, what are you going to say to that person.. Every persons that I ask said they will ask for forgiveness and then said that they love them..” .. I hope I have the courage to said it and the time to said it.
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