Who Am I?

I was born on the 1st September 1986 morning in Surabaya, the first of the three siblings.. My father gave me the name Rendy from his favorite singer Randy Crawford, maybe he want me to captured some of her talents in music, well I obviously didn’t have any of her talents.. I enjoyed listening to all genre of music though, from jazz to pop, from rock to hip hop, and sometimes dangdut also.. I like Mandarin songs too, and one time when I listening to a mandarin song, a friend asked me whether I can understand the lyric of the song, I said to her, “nope but music is a universal language so I don’t need to understand the lyrics to enjoy listening to it.” I like to watch movie too, I enjoyed all type of film except horrors, not because I’m too scared (I didn’t believe in ghost or any form of that kind), I just don’t like being surprised all the time, with people screaming all the time around me.. My biggest pleasure however is reading books.. I can spend countless hours, without eating and sleep and forget about the rest of the world, with just one good book.. When it comes to a good book, I understand no such thing as ‘too expensive too buy’.. I admire many people who can write such things and presented it in a way that just astonish me.. I enjoy sport in certain degree, like swimming and hiking in the mountain.. I used to join a swim club and a hiking club.. I like to watch football too, although unfortunately I have no talent to play it.. My favorite club is Arsenal and AS Roma and hoping one day I have the opportunity to watch with my own eyes.. I have a great respect in language and hoping to master many foreign language, like Mandarin, Korea and Spain.. For now I can speak well in English and French, in addition to Indonesia my maternal language and Javanese my region language..
I have hard times on defining my character.. This is some of the character that I believe I have in mine.. I like solitude and I enjoy being alone, that doesn’t mean I don’t like spending my times with people but when I’m alone I can be myself.. I don’t need to please anybody and I can do whatever I like to do without worrying other people’s opinion.. Yet I understand the importance maintaining relations with people and I enjoy hanging out with people that I’m already comfortable with, people who I know can received me for who I am.. People’s first opinion about me is that I’m very quiet, I do, especially in the environment that I’m not comfortable with.. The real reason is actually because I’m very shy, I’m not used to start making conversation with people I barely knew, but if you can be friendly at the first place, I’ll treasure you as my friends.. My ex used to say that I’m indifferent in relationship, that’s true, as I stated above I like being alone so there’s a time when I don’t like being disturbed, that doesn’t mean I don’t care anymore because I do, I’m just not really good in expressing what I feel and honestly I don’t like expressing what I felt.. I like to keep something on my own.. When I like on doing something, I’ll try my best to make it as perfect as possible, I have the perfectionist side on me, but if the things is something that I don’t like to do I can be very ignorant to it.. I’m easily change mood, sometimes I surprise people by getting angry just because of a small comment they made of me.. I’ll treasure my family and my friends above anything but God.. I do believe Eleanor Roosevelt’s words: he who loses money loses much, he who loses a friend loses much more, but he who loses faith loses all..
What I don’t like is people break their promise or their commitment.. I’ll forgive you but its hard for me to believe in you again.. You can say I’m someone who forgive but hardly forget.. I hate to wait or doing nothing useless.. I despise people who lied and got caught of lying.. I mean come on if you dare to lie in my face, the least you can do is to keep your story straight, I’m not that stupid.. I don’t like to meddling into other people’s affaires so if you don’t want me to know, you can just said directly to me.. I’ll respect people who can speak directly but in the kind of rude way.. If you have a problem with its better to say it to me, rather than saying to other people who might didn’t have anything to with it and I believe it solves problem much faster.. If its my mistake, I can say I’m sorry, I’m not someone who just won’t admit if they wrong..
In the world where lie, treachery, cowardice, cruelty etc is consider common practice in our world, there always a person that stand firm to their integrity and the value they believe for and those are the person I admired, like Mother Theresa, Wilma Rudolph, Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr, Marie Curie, Nelson Mandela, Aung San Suu Kyi, Oseola McCarty, George Washington, Abraham Lincoln and from Indonesia Muhammad Hatta, and many more.. This are some of the exceptional persons that use their life to make the world become a better place and they gain more in doing what they believe, more than just a public recognition.. I enjoyed reading their story to enrich myself with the merit they have.. I believe character is destiny.. Their character allows them to reach their positions in human history..
What I scared the most is about the future.. As I stated above, I don’t like surprises and with the unpredictable future, its so scary for me to think about the future, knowing that all of what I already planning may turn out into a disaster.. I’m also scared that I didn’t put enough effort to really discover my potential and maximize it, to do what God intended to me.. Thinking about those two things can drive me crazy, but I learn to hope for the best and have faith.. I know I have God, He who created me, must give some purpose on what my life should be.. I have some regret, my biggest regret is not using my time well.. I’m not studying hard enough in university, I spent most of my time playing around or if not I’m daydreaming that one day all of this is going to get better.. I know I need to push my self harder..
My biggest aspiration is I can leave something memorable to this world and the world become a better place because of me.. I didn’t know how to do it yet, all I can think is to write a book as a part of my legacy because I believe book can resist against the time like what Francis Beacon write in his book, the Advancement of Learning: “We see then how far the monuments of wit and learning are more durable than the monuments of power or of the hands. For have not the verses of Homer continued twenty-five hundred years or more, without the loss of a syllable or letter; during which time infinite palaces, castles, cities have been decayed and demolished.”
And most notably I’m hoping that throughout of my life I know that I’ve done my best, I’m hold on to the value I believe, I enjoy my life and have a great one, I have no regrets and I keep believing in God..